I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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