it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
