Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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