he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
