i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
