went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
