Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
