Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
