so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just pee around me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
