see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
