He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize