just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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