Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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