i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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