I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
