The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
