it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
