if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize