there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
