so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
