he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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