how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
