totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
