i would punch a child for taco bell
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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