i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
