Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
