sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
