I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
