So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
