He uses pillows to masturbate.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
