yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
