wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
