Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So much rum. So many feels.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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