ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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