And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
