And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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