I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize