Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
