i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i love accidental penises.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
