That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
