I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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