I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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