you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
