Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
