I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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