White coat. Heels.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
