I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and she was petting her beer can
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
