i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just forgot I was standing up.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
