Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
