My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
