wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
