Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
