Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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