okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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