had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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