i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize