Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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