im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
