i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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