Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
