Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
