I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
