So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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