I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
